Monday, January 24, 2011

Jewish vs. Goyish in Classical Music

If only Lenny Bruce were around to read this...

Jewish Goyish

The Piano The Organ

The Violin The Cello

The Clarinet The Flute

The Trumpet The French Horn

Percussion Pitched Percussion

Historically Informed Performance Period Instruments

Chamber Music Choral Music

Isorhythmic Motets Gregorian Chant

Minimalism Holy Minimalism

Historical Recordings High-Def Sound

Arrangements Urtexts

Touring Groups Local Groups

Expressionism Impressionism

Maxim Vengerov Hilary Hahn

Alfred Schnittke Arvo Part

Glenn Gould Gustav Leonhardt

Rudolf Serkin Claudio Arrau

The LA Master Chorale The Dale Warland Singers

Nico Muhly Eric Whitacre

Le Concert des Nations Les Arts Florissants

Conservatories Music Departments

Thomas Weelkes Thomas Morley

Gesualdo John Dowland

Monteverdi Palestrina

Lully Rameau

Hilliard Ensemble Anonymous 4

Madrigals Motets

Ockeghem Isaac

Lassus Victoria

Machaut Hildegard von Bingen

Rossini Bellini

Schumann Mendelssohn

Bizet Saint-Saens

Chopin Rachmaninov

Brahms Bruckner

Der Rosenkavalier Salome

Otello Aida

Die Meistersinger Parsifal

John Culshaw Walter Legge

Harmonia Mundi DG Archiv

Steve Reich Philip Glass

Atonality Serialism

Gyorgy Ligeti Pierre Boulez

Adorno Thomas Mann

Furtwangler Karajan

Isaac Stern Yehudi Menuhin

Yevgeny Kissin Lang Lang

The Proms Salzburg Festspiele

Verdi Puccini

Schubertiades Bayreuth Festspiele

Petrushka The Rite of Spring

Domingo Pavarotti

Tito Gobbi Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau

Birgitte Nielsen Kirsten Flagstad

Callas Sutherland

Bugs Bunny Cartoons Fantasia

Bach Cantatas Bach Passions

Classicism Romanticism

Janacek Dvorak

The Met La Scala

Les Noces Carmina Burana

Symphonies Symphonic Poems

Bartok Sibelius

Milton Babbitt Elliott Carter

Rubinstein Horowitz

Schnabel Edwin Fischer

Leonard Bernstein Samuel Barber

Sondheim Andrew Lloyd Webber

Radio Broadcasts TV Simulcasts

Claudio Abbado Riccardo Muti

Roger Norrington Christopher Hogwood

Artur Schnabel Wilhelm Kempff

Bartok Webern

Schonberg Hindemith

Alfred Brendel Maurizio Pollini

Alicia De Larrocha Martha Argerich

George Szell Eugene Ormandy

Messiaen Stockhausen

Caruso Gigli

Drinks before the Concert Drinks after the Concert

Shostakovich Prokofiev

Charles Ives Carl Ruggles

Morton Feldman John Cage

Debussy Delius

Berg Webern

John Zorn Frank Zappa

Osvaldo Golijov Kaija Saariaho

Handel Gluck

Nikolaus Harnoncourt The Kuijkens

Hiring Film Directors for Operas Hiring Opera Directors for Operas

Fundamental Structure Linear Progressions

Modes Keys

Chromaticism Overtone Series

Harmonic Minor Melodic Minor

Octatonic Scale Dorian Mode

Locrian Natural 2 Mode Mixolydian Mode

Fauxbourdon Cantus Firmus

Call and Response Word Painting

Antiphon Organum

Hemiolas Metric Modulations

Polytonality Polyphony

Development Repetition

Klangfarbenmelodien Tintinnabuli

Diminished 7's Dominant 7's


The F'in Rabbi The Golem

Everything Mahler The Ring Cycle

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