Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Why do Smart People Drink More?

People really wonder why THIS is?

OK....I'll explain it for all you idiots out there. Don't feel bad though. You're probably not that much dumber than me:).

It's a big universe out there. And who could have cause to doubt that there are entities in the Heavens whose average intelligence can be measured against ours the way Albert Einstein's could against a gnat's.

In the grand scheme of things, we're all idiots. The smarter of us may not yet be able to send a man outside the solar system or develop a self-generating source of power, but we can develop cleverer names for stupid people than they can for us. Therefore, the vices that we refuse to tolerate in relatively dumb people - like alcoholism, bad music and stupid hats - become vices which we develop means to tolerate within ourselves. Ergo, Coors Light becomes Veuve Clicquot, country music becomes alternative rock (sorry but it's true), and backwards baseball caps become porkpie hats. Same idiots, different shirt.

The world is now explained. Go to bed.

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