(Water Night. From back when he was worth liking.)

Dearest Eric Whitacre,

The more successful you get, the more your music seems lame. When you were the new kid on the block seven or eight years ago, those eleven chords sounded cool. I guess they were the next evolutionary step from Morton Lauridsen's nine chords. But Lauridsen got old quickly when people realized that he had only one idea, now it seems that you're headed for the same dustbin. Now that you're Mister Big Shot, you're looking more and more like just another Lauridsen/Rutter hack whose music is way too enjoyable for the kind of singer directors dread working with to be any fun. Water Night is still a beautiful piece: elegant, erotic and full of dread. But success let all those beautiful sounds coagulate into diabetic shock. Every time I hear another piece by you, I think you need to be punched in the face that much more badly.

I really know how to market myself.

Love,

Evan


(I Thank You God, For This Most Amazing Day. I don't doubt some people would like this. They're just people whose company would make me sad.)