Dear Evan's Body,

I know this week of wedding/vacation followed directly by holiday is doing a number on your blood pressure with more salt than you ever had room for. But if you can see to it for the rest of Evan not to pass out and require hospitalization until next Monday, we'll be very obliged. Please, if you can do anything to make me stop being consistently on the verge of fainting, I promise that by this time next year I will be thirty-five pounds lighter and have gone to the gym five days every week. If you can't, well, screw you body.

Love,

Evan